


Let's pretend

by Stlesismylover



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Shannon Diaz Lives, everyone is done with them, oblivious idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28481088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stlesismylover/pseuds/Stlesismylover
Summary: Eddie’s parents have been very insistent on finding him a new partner. Eddie complained to Shannon one day and she told him he should say he’s taken, that way they would leave him alone. So next time they make a comment, he does. Eddie doesn’t give any details, he simply says, “I’m seeing someone,” and somehow his parents assumed it was Buck. And he doesn’t deny it…Everything is fine until Helena tells him they are coming over for a week. And, of course, they want to meet Buck.Or another fake dating au cause there are never enough, and Shannon lives because someone has to shake some common sense into Eddie.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 117
Kudos: 603





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SophEliza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophEliza/gifts).



> Soph, your love for Shannon inspired all of this, I hope you like it 😊
> 
> Some context: Shannon didn’t die after the accident. And therefore, Eddie’s parents weren’t dicks at the funeral. The rest of canon stays the same, I’m just reducing Eddie’s and Chris’ pain. It’s set after season 3, so Eddie and Shannon had time to fix their relationship, they are friends now. “Lovers to friends” for Shannon, and “Friends to lovers” for Buck hehe
> 
> This is me, myself and Grammarly, so excuse my mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy!!

When Shannon served him with the divorce papers Eddie was mad at her, she was leaving them again. But then she almost died in a traffic accident, and Eddie’s perspective changed. Death would have taken her away, not a divorce. In fact, this way she would be a part of Chris’ life without the toxicity of their relationship. They loved each other when they were younger, but once Christopher was born, they grew apart, until their love for each other faded away, turning into disappointment and resentment.

After Shannon’s accident, they sat down and talked about their mistakes and wounds. They’ve forgiven each other and their relationship has become stronger, they are good friends now.

By mutual agreement, Eddie got full custody of Christopher, Shannon having him every two weekends and some holidays. That’s on paper. In reality, they have their own agreement. Shannon would keep Chris if Carla can’t and Eddie has a long shift or if Chris asks to spend the day with his mom. They have a good balance and Chris is delighted to have both his parents in his life.

Forgiving Shannon and rebuilding their relationship encouraged Eddie to reach to his parents and talk about their involvement in Chris’ life. Eddie knows they helped raise Chris when he was deployed and then when Shannon left, and he is grateful for that, but it’s not the case anymore. Many long conversations later, they’ve accepted they are Christopher’s grandparents and that’s it.

They call every week to talk to them, they come to visit now and then, and they try to get together for significant dates, such as birthdays or anniversaries. Eddie is glad to have his parents in his corner and that Chris is surrounded by people who love him unconditionally. 

Eddie is having some sense of normalcy in his life for the first time ever. He has a great relationship with his family, his son is happy and taken care of, things at work are great, they haven’t had any drama in a few months, everyone is healthy, and Buck is always there for them, brightening their days.

His parents think it’s not enough, though. Because lately, they have been very insistent on finding him a new partner, going as far as inviting people over to Abuela’s without telling him. They’ve even roped his sisters into it, last time he visited them they almost create a Tinder profile for him (they had chosen some photos and had written a bio).

Eddie complained to Shannon one day and she told him he should say he’s taken, that way they would leave him alone. So next time they make a comment, he does. Eddie doesn’t give any details, he simply says, “I’m seeing someone,” and somehow his parents assumed it was Buck.

Eddie doesn’t know how they reached that conclusion. Like, yes, maybe Chris always talks about Buck, and Abuela invites him over and talks wonders about him. And, well, Buck is in almost every picture he sends. (And maybe Eddie got a bit too drunk last Christmas and went on some embarrassing detailed dissertation about the different shades of blue in Buck’s eye). Okay, yes, it makes sense, shut up.

The thing is they are happy for him, like genuinely happy for him. So, he doesn’t deny it. It doesn’t hurt anyone and maybe he likes to talk about Buck as if they were together, sue him (don’t). Pretending is nice, when he talks with his parents, he gets lost in the fantasy of something he can’t have but he longs for.

He doesn’t want to think about it too much, because if he does, if he analyzes his feelings, they’ll become real. At least that’s his theory. If you acknowledge something there’s no going back. And there’s a lot to acknowledge here. Like how he feels safer with Buck, lighter, happier. Or how his stomach swoops every time Buck forgets about personal boundaries. Or how, when Buck is with Chris and him, he feels at home.

But we are not doing that. Those feelings are kept under lock and key. Eddie won’t let himself fall hard for someone again. It hurts too much. And he always messes it up. So, he tries to ignore them, to pretend they don’t exist, to hide them to himself. He’s probably not doing a good job, though, as Shannon constantly tells him he should ask Buck out, she also loves to interfere.

So, he goes along with the lie and doesn’t tell anyone. In a few months, he’ll say Buck broke up with him and he’s heartbroken. That would buy him some more time without their intromission.

Everything is okay until Helena calls him one Friday.

He just got home after his shift and has already changed into more comfortable clothes. He answers the phone at the same time Shannon knocks on the door, Chris in tow. He kisses Shannon’s cheek and hugs his son while his mom’s voice says something about a birthday and a plane to LA and Buck.

When Eddie asks her to repeat it, she says they are coming over to spend the week. A friend of theirs is having a big birthday party tomorrow and they are extending the trip a week to spend more time with them. Their plane lands tomorrow morning and they will stay at his house till next Saturday.

And, of course, they want to officially meet Buck, ‘he should come to Abuela’s on Sunday, Eddie’.

Eddie musters a goodbye. He is frozen in place, his hand holding his phone to his ear even if his mom has already hung up.

Shannon waves her hand in front of his face, catching his attention. “Hey, you okay?”

Eddie gets his body to move, locking the phone and turning towards Shannon. “My parents are coming tomorrow, and they are staying here for a week.”

“That’s… unexpected,” she tilts her head, “but why are you so worked up about it?” She knows Eddie hates sharing his space, having people over for too long, even his own parents, but this reaction is too much. 

Eddie turns a new shade of red as he mumbles, “They think I’m dating Buck,” Shannon’s eyebrows shoot up, “and they want to meet him and ‘welcome him into the family’,” air quoting that last bit, he hates air-quoting.

Shannon blinks rapidly, mouth open, not understanding a thing, “Why do they think you two are dating?”

“I told them I was seeing someone,” he points at her accusingly, “like you said I should do to get them off my back.” He grimaces, and adds, “They assumed it was Buck.”

“Oh my god, Eddie!” Shannon raises her voice, her eyes widening. “Does Buck know?” Eddie just scratches his head. Is this for real? She’s so done with him. “I can’t with you.” He lets out a long sigh, not saying anything else.

“So, what? You talked about him as if he was your boyfriend?” Eddie ducks his head, hiding the dark red covering his cheeks. This is just so absurd. Shannon snorts, shaking her head amused. “This is ridiculous. You are so far gone on him.”

Eddie jerks his head up. “Don’t start.”

“It’s true,” she shrugs.

“Shan… What am I gonna do?” Eddie Diaz whining. Mark this day, people.

She takes pity on him, “You have to tell him.”

“He’s going to freak out,” just like Eddie right now.

She sighs, “I don’t think so. He will play along,” she goes for her best comforting voice, “call him and explain it to him before your parents come tomorrow.”

Eddie nods, biting his lip, “I’ll tell him later, he’s coming over for movie night.”

Shannon can’t help it and rolls her eyes, “Of course he is. I’m not surprised your parents thought you were dating him.” Eddie fixes her with a murdering stare. She raises her hands in surrender, “Okay, okay, I’m leaving.”

She takes her purse and kisses Chris goodbye. Before closing the door behind her, she smirks at Eddie, “Good luck with your man.” Eddie rolls his eyes as Shannon adds, “Who knows? Maybe something good comes out of this.”

Sometime later the door is opened by a smiling Buck carrying two large pizzas.

“Hello, Diaz boys!” His voice carries through the house luring both Diaz to come and greet him.

Chris runs to hug him as Eddie takes the pizzas from his hands. Over Chris rambling, Buck notices a nervous expression on Eddie’s face. He raises his eyebrow and Eddie shakes his head. Later then.

They eat the pizzas before they get cold. Chris fills the silence with his stories and new fixations. Buck keeps sending worried glances at Eddie trying to figure out what’s wrong. When Chris goes to take a shower before the movie, he finally gets his chance. They are alone in the kitchen, cleaning up when Buck speaks up.

“What’s going on with you?”

Eddie sighs, turning to look at Buck, “We have to talk.”

“Uh, that doesn’t sound good.”

“Sit, please.” Buck takes a seat, staring quizzically at his friend, “You want a beer? I do, I’m gonna grab one,” Eddie rambles, taking two beers from the fridge and rummaging through the drawers for an opener.

“Eddie, you’re freaking me out. Sit.”

Eddie takes the seat across from him. Buck takes the opener and opens both beers. Eddie rubs his face, takes a long gulp, and sighs again. “My parents are coming tomorrow.”

“Okay…” Buck scrunches his eyebrows.

“You know they’ve been very invested in my love life or lack thereof,” Eddie continues.

“Yes...” where is he getting at?

Eddie pauses and looks at Buck, holding his gaze with determination and something else. He takes a deep breath and says in one go, “I may have told them I was dating someone, and they thought it was you and I never corrected them,” a beat, then, “They want to meet you.”

Deafening silence falls over them. Buck’s eyes are wide open, his lips parted, and he’s not saying anything. Eddie panics and tries to retreat, “I can tell them I lied. Or that we broke up.” His voice sounds softer, apologetic, when he says, “I’m sorry, Buck.”

Buck swallows, “So, what are you proposing here?”

Eddie sighs, defeated, “I don’t know.”

“Are you asking me to pretend we are dating?”

How is Buck so unfazed by this? “I- I guess.”

“What about Chris?” Fuck. Eddie closes his eyes, tilting his head back. “You haven’t thought about it.”

“No…” he looks at Buck, “I can ask him to play along.”

Buck considers it for a few seconds. Eventually, he nods, “Okay. I’m in.”

“What?”

“I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend,” he says with conviction.

Eddie’s eyebrows raise, almost touching his hairline. “Really? Just like that?”

“Oh, no,” Buck scoffs, “you owe me big time.”

Eddie chuckles, “That’s fair.” Buck drinks from his beer and then changes the subject. He doesn’t look affected by any of this, but his gaze turns charged and lingers longer than usual.

There’s this weird ball of energy moving around in Eddie’s stomach. With a pulsating rhythm, it bursts into jolts of something Eddie can’t really place. Some feel like excitement, making his fingers ting and his chest heavy. Others transform into a cold dreadful feeling in his lower back, sending unsettling shivers to every inch of his body.

He listens to Buck and tries his best to look casual, he knows this conversation isn’t over, that they have to talk more about this, make things clear. But for now, he pretends it’s just another Friday night.

Chris comes out of his shower a bit later. One look from Buck and Eddie sighs loudly, he knows he has to talk to Chris. This situation he has created is absurd and roping his son into this fiction makes him feel even worse. So, if Chris doesn’t feel comfortable with this, it’s over. Before they start the movie, Eddie turns to him. “I have to ask you something, mijo.” When Chris nods, Eddie goes on. “Abuela and Abuelo are coming tomorrow.”

“I know.”

Eddie braces for his son’s reaction when he says, “They think Buck and I are dating.”

Chris doesn’t question his words, “Okay...”

Eddie pauses, dumbfounded by the unaffected answer. A nudge on his shoulder from Buck, resumes his crazy request, “So, do you think you could pretend it’s real?”

“Umm, okay.” Chris looks a bit confused but that’s it. Eddie is expecting more questions, but his son just says, “Can we watch the movie now?”

Christopher turns his focus to the TV, oblivious to the lost look his dad sends Buck over his head. Buck shrugs, taking a sit on the couch, Chris leaning on his side.

Eddie doesn’t understand a thing, should he be worried by Chris readiness to lie? Or proud because his son trusts him and does as told without question? Well, at least, they can go on with the lie.

Once Chris is in bed, Eddie joins Buck on the couch, bringing more beer with him. He sits sideways next to Buck, his bended knee pressed against Buck’s thigh.

“We need to come up with a story,” Eddie says before taking a sip.

Buck ponders over it for a moment and then, “I asked you out.”

“Why you?” Eddie says indignantly.

“Because you haven’t shown any interest in dating for years,” Buck retorts.

“But if I asked you out it would prove I’m serious here.” Buck raises his eyebrow. They stare at each other, waiting for the other to yield.

Eventually, Buck sighs. “Okay, heads or tails?”

“Heads.”

Buck throws a coin, “Tails. I asked you out,” he winks and Eddie.

He clears his throat, “So, first date?”

Buck turns his head to Eddie, and beams proudly, “I took you to that Greek place you wanted to try.”

“Fine.”

“Fine?” Bucks gasps. He brings his hand to his chest, in feigned indignation, “Our first date is fine?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “Great, it was a great date, Buck,” he puts his hand on Buck’s thigh, adding with a condescending tone, “Thanks for taking me to that place, babe.”

“Asshole,” Buck barks, pushing Eddie by his shoulder, Eddie’s hand leaving his thigh. 

Eddie laughs, relishing how Buck’s embarrassment faintly taints his cheeks. He drinks from his beer and moves to the next point, “What about boundaries?”

Buck shrugs, “You know I’m comfortable with whatever.”

“Me too.”

“Really?” Buck arches his eyebrows in disbelief.

“Yeah, Buck, really,” he rearranges his legs and puts them over Buck’s lap, to reaffirm his words. Buck’s hands come naturally to rest on Eddie’s legs. “You want a safe word or something?”

Buck snorts, “Are you planning on getting all kinky with me, Diaz?”

Eddie hits him on the chest with his knee, “I don’t even know why I’m dating you,” suddenly flustered.

Buck laughs, squeezing his thigh. His voice softer when he asks, “Do you want a safe word?”

Eddie nods, “I think we should get one, just in case,” _just in case it gets overwhelming_.

Buck thinks for a few seconds, and snaps his fingers, “What about ‘baby’? It’s easy to slip in at any moment.”

“Okay,” Eddie has never been fond of that pet name, so he doesn’t care. Before he can stop himself, the next words slip from his lips, “Not ‘babe’, though.”

Buck shakes his head, “No, just baby.” He freezes for a second, going over Eddie’s words. He turns to look at his friend, a teasing glint to his eyes, “What? You like babe?”

“Shut up,” Eddie blushes from ears to neck.

“Oh, babe, you’re so cute!” Buck’s voice is amused and teasing, but soft and warm, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do with the swirling in his stomach.

He tries to cover it all with feigned exasperation. “This is a mistake.”

Buck laughs and Eddie wants to reconsider his life choices but feeling Buck’s body shake with laughter all around him overloads his common sense, so he just leans into his friend’s warmth.

They work over some other details in case his parents ask. They don’t really have that much to cover, their story is pretty consistent already, and that thought makes Eddie both proud and unsettled.

They don’t change positions, Eddie’s legs sprawled over Buck’s lap, until Buck has to leave. Eddie tells himself it’s because they should start getting used to more intimate contact, so it feels more natural, and not because sitting like this makes every inch of his skin in contact with Buck’s vibrate.

They make plans for going together on Sunday to Abuela’s, so Buck doesn’t have to go by himself. He takes his coat and goes home, leaving Eddie standing against his now closed front door.

Eddie thought this would be more awkward, but Buck has a way to make him feel comfortable and safe in every situation. If he lets himself hope, he will even dare to say Buck is excited about the prospect of them (fake)dating. But he won’t. It’s all pretend, Buck is helping him out. That’s it. He promises himself he won’t read too much into Buck’s behavior this week.

If he wants to make it through, he has to keep his mind straight (ha!). Don’t overthink Buck’s readiness, this is just a friend helping his friend out. He will survive this, he has to, when his parents leave, he won’t be broken. These are the consequences of his cowardice, of not being honest with his parents nor with his feelings and now he has to face them. 

He lets out a long sigh. This is a fucking mess, but it’s his mess and there’s no going back now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Let me know what you think :)
> 
> And happy 2021 everybody, may it be better than the one we leave behind!


	2. Chapter 2

Buck parks the Jeep in Abuela’s street and turns off the engine. They had planned to come together, but Eddie’s mom took them out for breakfast, so Buck ended up coming by himself.

He leans back against the headrest and lets out a long sigh. Why did he agree to this? This is the most masochistic thing he’s ever done. He’s been in love with Eddie for years. There was a period of time in which he dared to hope, Eddie’s eyes always looked for him, lingering a bit more than usual, and his touch felt like something more, grounding and electrifying, and he thought Eddie felt the same. But nothing changed, Eddie never acted on it, so Buck attributed the new behavior to the growing closeness of their friendship and kept his feelings to himself. Eddie didn’t want more so he settled for just being friends.

And now Eddie is asking him to pretend they are dating in front of his whole fucking family and Buck is freaking out. Of course he can make it convincing. That’s the problem. It has to be convincing to everybody but Eddie. And that’s not an easy task.

He realizes he’s been overthinking for too long when his phone buzzes with a text from Eddie.

**The food is inside**

He breathes a couple of times, leaving as much anxiety as possible in the car. He locks the Jeep and walks towards the open door, where Eddie is waiting for him. The other night they agreed they were both okay with any form of intimate affection, so he shouldn’t get that excited when Eddie grabs him by the waist and pulls him close, their chests pressing against each other. ‘It’s for appearances only’, his mind reminds him.

Eddie is fixing him with a concerned look, and in the small space between them, he whispers, “You okay?”

Buck swallows and nods. He finds some courage inside him and puts on his best smile. He moves back, taking Eddie’s right hand in his. “Let’s do this.”

When they get inside, they are greeted by Eddie’s mom watching them with a soft smile. “Mom, I don’t know if you remember Buck.”

Helena extends her hand, “Of course I do.”

“Hello, Mrs. Diaz,” shakes her hand with his best meet-the-parents face. 

“Helena, please,” she dismisses the formality waving her hand.

Buck nods, “Helena then.”

Ramon steps next to his wife, rounding her waist with one arm as he extends the other towards Buck, “Hello, Buck. And none of that Mr. Diaz, call me Ramón, please.”

Buck takes his hand, smiling politely, “Nice seeing you again, Ramón.”

There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence, the four of them standing in the hall. Buck shifts on his feet anxiously, only relaxing when Eddie squeezes his hand. Thankfully, Helena breaks the silence. 

“We’ve heard so much about you, I don’t know who talks more about his Buck, Eddie or Chris,” her words bring a bright honest smile to his face, and when he turns his head, he finds Eddie avoiding his gaze, a blush covering his cheeks, Buck squeezes his hand back.

He’s going to say something when Chris comes running towards him, “Buckyyy!” He crouches to hug him, and only then he drops Eddie’s hand.

“Hi, kiddo,” Buck kisses his face, making Chris giggle, and forgets about the adults in the room until Abuela’s voice comes from the kitchen doorway.

“Evan, you are here! Come help me in the kitchen.”

Buck looks up from Chris, Helena is looking at them amused and Eddie is biting his lips, something undecipherable in his eyes. Buck ignores the fluttering in the pit of his stomach as he stands up and smiles apologetically, “Excuse me,” going to join Isabel in the kitchen. 

When he gets there, Isabel kisses one cheek and pinches the other at the same time.

“How are you doing, Abuela?” always the charmer.

“Oh, I’m great,” she pats him on the chest, “except that my grandson forgot to mention you were dating.”

Buck’s eyes open wide. Does Isabel think they are together too? He hadn’t thought about this, what the rest of the family would think. Fuck, he feels like shit for lying to Isabel, she’s always treated him like family.

Isabel must misinterpret his silence because she says with a soft voice, “Don’t worry, Evan. I’m not mad, I’m not even surprised. I’m just happy you are finally together.”

“Oh,” Buck blinks confused.

“You are good for them.” She pats his cheek and smiles gently. Buck feels both parts guilty and flustered, not knowing how to react.

Luckily, Isabel loves to order around the kitchen. She claps her hands as she says, “Ale, muévete, this food is no going to cook by itself.”

Buc chuckles, accepting the apron Isabel hands him and gets to work.

Sometime later, Eddie comes to the kitchen, his father following behind him.

Ramón inhales deeply, “Qué bien huele, mamá. ¿Qué están cocinando?”

“Tamales, hijo.”

Ramón raises his eyebrows in surprise, and, almost indignantly, he mutters, “Pero si es un secreto familiar…” He is dumbfounded, his mother has always been very protective of her recipes, she didn’t share them with Helena until after their marriage.

Isabel switches to English, not wanting Buck to feel left out, “Someone has to pass them onto Chris, and your son it’s not going to be the one,” Buck covers his laugh with a cough.

“Hey!” Eddie protests.

“It’s true, babe.” Buck winks at him.

Eddie gets closer with a vengeful smirk on his face. He stops right next to Buck and tilts his head to whisper in his ear, “You look cute in that apron,” using the way Buck shivers to dip his fingers in the bowl Buck is preparing.

Isabel must’ve seen him and shoos them away from the kitchen, they are distracting the cooks. Buck thanks her mentally, as he focuses on the bowl in front of him, trying to control his breathing.

When the food is ready, they gather around the table to eat. Abuela and Eddie sit at each end of the table, Buck and Chris take one side, and Helena and Ramón the other one.

The food is so delicious they eat in silence, the only thing that can be heard is the cutlery clinking against the plate. Chris moves his carrots around, spreading them so it looks like he has eaten them. Buck reaches with his fork and takes as many as he can, winking in complicity. Chris smiles, and eats the remaining carrots, cleaning the plate. Everybody has seen the exchange, but Buck only dares to look at Eddie. And he kinds of regrets it because Eddie has this stupid loving smile on his face. ‘He’s pretending’, Buck reminds himself. But that doesn’t stop his stomach from contracting, the food not sitting well anymore.

Helena is the first one to break the silence, “Isabel told us you like to cook.”

Buck wipes his mouth before answering, “Yeah, our captain is a great cook. He’s been teaching me for years.”

“You’ve learnt a lot by yourself too,” Eddie pipes in.

“He’s great!” Chris tells his grandparents with excitement, “He helped me bake the cupcakes for the bake sale at school.”

“I’m guessing it was a success,” Ramón offers amused.

Chris nods. “It was, there was no cupcake left. All my friends’ moms said they were delicious.”

Eddie clears his throat, muttering, “Of course they said that…” Buck raises an eyebrow in astonishment, Eddie is really committing with the faked jealousy.

Helena chuckles at his son’s indignation, “That’s great, someone has to make sure our grandson is properly fed.”

“Mom!” Eddie whines offended, “Not you too!”

Once they’ve finished eating, they move outside to Abuela’s backyard to have coffee and some pastries. There’s a small table surrounded by two benches and two chairs. 

Eddie sits on one bench pulling Buck with him. He puts his arm around Buck’s shoulder, Buck’s hand coming to rest on Eddie’s thigh. Chris pushes himself on Buck’s lap, leaning against his chest.

When Helena praises Isabel’s garden and backyard in general, she tells them it was all Eddie and Buck’s handiwork. “They cleaned the garden and then planted everything, and they bought all the furniture as well.”

Ramón raises his eyebrows, “That’s impressive!”

“Well, we didn’t do it in one day,” Eddie shrugs his shoulders.

“Yeah, it took us several weeks, we used almost all of our days off to do it,” the memories of them both fighting over which seeds to buy bring a smile to Buck’s face.

“Do you work the same shifts?” Helena wonders.

“Yeah, most of the time,” Buck answers.

“I thought you would have been separated.” 

“The department isn’t against romantic relationships,” Eddie offers, instinctively bringing Buck closer to him, “They just make you sign some forms.”

“Oh, I thought they were stricter,” Ramón says, and his voice gets a touch more cautious, when he adds, “You know, it has to be harder to be in control if your partner is in danger…”

“Dad and Buck always have each other’s back,” Chris states proudly.

Buck sucks in a breath at hearing Chris say the words that defined their relationship. He drops a kiss on Chris’ hair, “That we do, buddy,” ignoring the flip his heart does at the honest trust he finds in Eddie’s eyes. 

Later, Abuela asks Ramón to follow her inside while Helena goes with Chris who wants to show her the garden, leaving Eddie and Buck alone.

“I think we are doing fine so far,” Eddie breaks the silence.

With the back of his hand, Buck slaps Eddie’s chest. “Ow, what was that for?”

“Abuela also thinks we are together,” Buck angry whispers, even if there’s no one around he is not risking it.

Eddie shrugs sheepishly, “Oh, yeah, I forgot to clue her in.”

“She’s gonna be heartbroken after our breakup,” ‘and so will I’, Buck laments internally.

“Did she say something?” Eddie wonders, readjusting his position so his arm is no longer behind Buck. 

‘That we are meant for each other’ his mind supplies. He ignores the question, sighing loudly, “We didn’t think this through.”

“I’m sorry, I was tired of the meddling in my life,” Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose, “I didn’t think long term.”

And Buck wants to get all witty and say something on the lines of ‘no, shit, man’, but he understands Eddie’s struggle, everybody thinking they know better, urging you to change your life. So, he nods sympathetically, “It’s okay, I understand.”

“They think I need a partner to be happy and I’m tired of that,” he drops his head on his hands, frustrated by his family’s interference and overwhelmed by the complex lie he has fabricated, dragging everyone with him.

Buck rubs Eddie’s back, trying to soothe him, to show him his support. He has listened to his friend rant about this for a long time now, and yet, Buck has never found the courage to pose this one question, fearing what the answer might be, what it would mean for him. But this time, Buck can’t hold it inside him anymore, so, dreadfully, he asks, “Don’t you want to meet someone?”

When Buck feels the way Eddie stills, he stops moving his hand in circles and leans back against the bench. Buck’s gaze fixes on where Chris is showing Helena the sunflowers they planted last month, pointedly avoiding Eddie. He doesn’t want to see the look on his face, whatever the answer is.

He’s still staring at Chris when Eddie sits up carefully, fixing his gaze on Buck, and says, voice hoarse but firm, “No,” Buck nods, not looking away from the garden, missing the naked honesty in Eddie’s eyes when he adds, “I have everything I need.”

Buck swallows the lump in his throat, forcing a smile. “Well, we shall do our best to keep them off your back, then.” He takes Eddie’s arm and directs him to lean on his side, wrapping his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. He hopes Eddie can’t feel the way his heart is beating out of control in his chest.

Contentment and disappointment battle inside him. Eddie not wanting a relationship means Buck won’t have to fight anyone for his attention. But it also means he’s not looking for something more, that he wants his life to be as it is right now, and even if Buck had made peace with that a long time ago, convincing himself friendship was enough, this whole act has rekindled the spark of hope he thought extinct.

And, well, if this is the closest he’s going to get to a romantic relationship with Eddie Diaz, he will make the most of it. Screw it, he’s gonna indulge every impulse of touching Eddie and showering him with affection.

That’s why he bends the arm he has around his friend’s shoulders and comb his fingers through Eddie’s hair. Eddie leans into the touch, going pliant in his arms.

They sit in silence, basking in the afternoon sun, when Eddie drowsily says, “Maybe we could buy a swing or a hammock.”

“A swing,” Buck replies.

“Really? I thought you would go for the hammock.”

“Abuela would use the swing much more,” he moves his hand to Eddie’s neck, caressing the skin with his thumb, relishing the goosebumps appearing there, “We can buy the hammock for your backyard,” Eddie only hums in response.

A tired Christopher walks to them, asking his dad to go home, so they call it a day. Abuela walks them to the front door and they say their goodbyes. Helena and Ramón shake Buck’s hand and invite him for lunch whenever they have a day off this week. Chris hugs Buck and is reluctant to let go until Buck promises to come over sometime this week. He follows his grandparents to Eddie’s truck.

That leaves Eddie, who is awkwardly standing in front of Buck, assessing how to say goodbye. Buck takes the reins and steps into Eddie’s space. He puts one hand on his friend’s waist, and with the other one he tilts Eddie’s chin. Before he can think it twice, he closes the space between them with a gentle press of lips. Partners kiss each other goodbye all the time, it’s a common thing to do, don’t judge him.

Eddie’s lips are soft and bitter, the taste of coffee lingering there. Buck presses for more, taking one of Eddie’s lips in his, swallowing Eddie’s surprised whimper. Buck’s grip on Eddie’s waist strengthens, urging him closer, but the sound of Chris’ laugh breaks the spell. He pulls back slowly, admiring Eddie’s awed expression, his lips parted, and his eyes closed. He caresses Eddie’s cheek with his thumb, as Eddie’s eyes open.

Buck can see in Eddie’s eyes he’s pushing down his reaction, his jaw clenched and his gaze intense, he doesn’t want Buck to read his mind. And Buck doesn’t pry, because, deep down, he doesn’t want to know. 

Buck steps back, and clears his throat, “See you tomorrow.” He walks to his Jeep not looking back, and drives away as casual as he can, as if that kiss was pretended, as if it didn’t mean anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buck really went from 0 to 100 in one second, like, ‘I’m gonna touch this man as much as I can.’ And, honestly, can you blame him? 
> 
> “Qué bien huele, mamá. ¿Qué están cocinando?” -> “It smells great, mom. What are you cooking?”  
> “Pero si es un secreto familiar…” -> “But it’s a family secret…”
> 
> Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think 😊


	3. Chapter 3

Eddie gets to the station on Monday morning a bit more tired than he would like after having the whole Sunday to rest. The thing is he hasn’t slept at all, his mind going over the events of the day.

Eddie is still shocked by how seriously Buck is taking his role, it’s a truly convincing act. Eddie wasn’t expecting him to go that hard. It took him by surprise, honestly. At some point, Buck could have even fooled him, making him believe there’s something there.

So, Eddie has gone through every interaction, touch and stare, until he has convinced himself Buck is just a great actor (and just a friend). His repressed feelings are acting up, projecting onto Buck dangerous hopes.

After a long night, he feels he has a good grip on his feelings and can keep it together for the rest of the week. And yet, his skin is prickling with uneasiness, knowing any odd behavior from Buck could shatter his composure.

So, when Buck claps his shoulder in the locker room and acts as if nothing was going on, Eddie breathes in relief.

The week goes on as usual. Eddie goes to work where he can tune everything out and focus on his job, the team doesn’t know about the whole ordeal and Buck is saying nothing, so he’s safe there. He can even pretend the weekend didn’t happen, that the mess he created was just a bad dream. He could if it weren’t for Shannon’s constant texts.

Every day, she asks for updates on mission I’m-an-idiot-digging-my-own-grave. She also sends him links to Reddit discussions of failed (or successful) fake dating stories. He ignores her, which apparently only serves to fuel her more.

Wednesday comes too quickly and the pretense is up again. It’s their day off and his parents have insisted on inviting them both to have lunch in a Greek restaurant Helena found online.

Eddie and his parents get first to the restaurant, ten minutes before the reservation (the Diaz way), and take their seats. Buck comes a bit later, the waitress signaling him to the table.

“Sorry, I couldn’t find a parking spot,” he apologizes even if he’s not late, but for Eddie on time is late and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. 

“Don’t worry, we just got here,” Eddie says as Buck sits next to him. Eddie tilts his head up a bit and Buck bites his smile at the silent cue.

They haven’t talked about any of this since Sunday, Eddie has been very tight-lipped these past few days. At first, Buck thought Eddie felt uncomfortable after that kiss, and he was scared he took it too far and Eddie would ask him to back off. But after further consideration, he has realized Eddie was only embarrassed for being disarmed by one kiss and just needed time to recover. Buck feels kinda proud, to be honest, it was a damn good kiss. 

And now Eddie is asking for another one, to keep the consistency of their faked affection. Buck is not going to refuse, so he leans forward and pecks Eddie gently on the corner of his mouth. When he pulls back, he’s expecting Eddie to act indifferent. But instead, he finds this soft smile playing on Eddie’s lips, and Buck doesn’t know what to do with it. 

Helena breaks the moment, catching their attention when she comments, “I found this restaurant online, it has good reviews. Have you been here before?”

Buck clears his throat before answering, “We had our first date here, actually.”

Scanning the menu, Eddie nods, “It's fine”. 

“Fine,” Buck mutters under his breath, only audible for Eddie, who can’t help rolling his eyes.

“It’s great, mom,” Eddie rephrases, “Good choice,” making Buck smirk triumphantly.

The waitress comes then to take their command, and the food comes soon after. Helena sits forward, resting her forearms on the table and clasping her hands together. With a kind smile, she looks at Buck and asks, “So, Buck, tell us about yourself. Where are you from?”

“Hershey, Pennsylvania.”

Ramón hums curious, “How did you end up here?”

Buck takes a sip from his wine, a bit nervous from being in the spotlight, “I’ve moved around quite a bit and I followed a friend here and never left.”

“Do you have family here?” Helena asks, ignoring the warning look Eddie is sending her. Buck senses Eddie’s protectiveness, he knows Buck doesn’t like to talk about his family and is trying to shield him from it.

Buck rests his hand on Eddie’s thigh under the table, signaling him it’s okay, and answers. “Yeah, my sister, Maddie. She moved here right after Eddie and Chris.”

“Oh, you two are close?”

“Yeah, we are very close,” Buck smiles genuinely.

“And your parents?” as soon as the question leaves Helena’s mouth, Eddie can feel Buck go stiff next to him.

“Mom, stop with the interrogation,” Eddie intervenes, his voice sharp.

Helena rolls her eyes, waving her hand in dismissal, “Oh, let me be, Edmundo. I just want to get to know your boyfriend.”

“It’s okay, Eds,” Buck looks at him in reassurance. Eddie nods and rests his hand on top of Buck’s in support. Buck turns to Helena, and says, with a stiff smile, “We don’t have a good relationship.”

Ramón and Helena share a look, knowing they almost ended up in a similar situation with Eddie. 

After of moment of silence, Ramón speaks up, “We would love to meet your sister.”

Buck is taken aback by it and looks at Eddie confused, getting a shoulder’s shrug back from him. “Oh, of course.”

“She could come this Friday for dinner,” Helena suggests.

Buck nods, forcing a smile, “Okay, yeah, I’ll tell her.” He’s panicking a bit, Maddie knows nothing about this, and she will tease him relentlessly. Eddie must’ve read his mind for how fast he’s downing his wine. 

The rest of the meal they eat in comfortable chatter. It’s all very easy and natural, the conversation flows effortlessly. Eddie tells them about the camping trip Buck organized for Chris getting great grades, both of them smiling at the great time they had. Helena tells Buck about Eddie’s years as captain of the baseball team and the chant he wrote, ignoring Eddie’s pleas to change the subject. Buck is delighted.

Now and then, Buck would shamelessly pick some food from Eddie’s plate, offering him some of his in return when Eddie glares at him. By the end of lunch, Buck is feeling carefree and a bit giddy, enjoying Eddie’s touch and banter. And when Eddie orders a dark chocolate cake to share with him, his chest tightens with how much he wishes this was real.

They leave the restaurant with full stomachs and the whole afternoon ahead of them. There’s a park nearby and Eddie suggests going for a little stroll to help digest the food.

The path is big enough for the four of them to walk next to each other. Ramón at the far end with Helena hooking her arm through his. Next to her, there’s Eddie and by his side, Buck. Eddie’s heartbeat picks up when Buck takes his hand, slotting their fingers together.

They walk in silence for a while, basking in the sunlight and enjoying the background noises.

Ramón checks his watch and turns to Eddie, “Shouldn’t you pick up Christopher?”

Eddie tenses, he can still feel the condescending tone in his father’s question. He can’t help feeling judged by them now and then, even if they’ve talked at length about this and his parents have shown growth. 

Feeling Eddie’s rigid posture, Buck brushes his thumb over the back of Eddie’s hand, and answers, “Shannon is going today.”

“Oh. Do you know her?” Helena says surprised.

“Yes, she’s great. She has dinner with us sometimes after dropping Chris.”

“Really?” for her incredulous tone, Eddie fixes her with a warning stare, his mom doesn’t really have a good history of saying good things about Shannon. Helena quickly adds, “I- I guess I wasn’t really expecting you to have a relationship with her.”

Buck, sensing the weird tension, grips Eddie’s hand tighter, “Well, she’s important to both Chris and Eddie.”

The sincerity of Buck’s statement startles Eddie. It makes something click in his mind, realization dawning on him. Buck has stepped into Eddie’s circle, making himself at home there. He has taken every single person that matters to Eddie and has made a space for them in his life. Abuela has adopted him and the same goes for Pepa. His sisters have a group chat with Buck, because according to them ‘you don’t get the memes, Edmundo’. Shannon and Buck get along really well, too well sometimes, Eddie is not amused when they gang up on him. And don’t get him started on Chris and Buck’s bond.

And that is so fucking scary. Because if he fucks this up, if they can’t manage to pull the whole “breakup” thing he hasn’t even thought about yet, if he somehow screws his relationship with Buck, the collateral damage is so much bigger than just him. And that’s a lot of pressure.

Some of his turmoil must be showing on his face. Even if no one can guess what it is about his sudden distress is evident because his mom’s voice is careful when she suggests, “She could come too on Friday, we would love to see her again.”

Eddie nods, partly relieved no one caught what got him spiraling, partly surprised by his mother’s olive branch. He manages a smile and tries to put that thought away, to be revisited later when his parents aren’t there, and when Buck’s hand isn’t holding his. 

Buck drives Eddie to his house as his parents took the truck to go visit their friend. When Buck parks the Jeep, Eddie invites him in, Shannon would drop Chris soon and the kid will be delighted to see his Buck.

Buck can’t say no to that, he hasn’t seen Chris since Sunday. But that’s no the only reason why he wants to stay for a bit longer. He needs to make sure Eddie is okay, he says he is, but his rigid posture and his short answers say otherwise. Eddie’s been triggered since Ramón asked for Chris. Buck knows Eddie still gets defensive when his parents ask about his son. And then, when Shannon came up in the conversation, Eddie got ready to confront them, knowing they haven’t been exactly kind to her in the past. The whole dinner invitation was unexpected. On top of that, they’ve been keeping up with the pretense for hours, and Buck is worried he did something to make Eddie feel uncomfortable.

Eddie needs his time and space to organize his thoughts, so Buck is not prying. Talking about it is out of the question, for now at least. Right now, Eddie needs a distraction, so Buck chats about any random piece of trivia he hasn’t told Eddie yet. He also goes back to being Eddie’s friend, holding back on the easy intimate affection towards Eddie he’s been indulging himself with, which is not easy at all.

Thankfully, Shannon brings Chris soon enough so Eddie can focus on his kid and not on the mess in his head. He accompanies his son to his bedroom, leaving Shannon and Buck in the living room.

“How were the in-laws?” Shannon asks as soon as they are alone, wiggling her eyebrows.

Buck snorts, he was expecting Shannon’s comment, “I think they like me.”

“Of course they do,” Buck rolls his eyes at her teasing tone. “So, did Eddie make THE face when Helena calls him Edmundo?” Shannon asks, perching herself on the couch’s backrest.

“With the nose scrunch?” he says as he tries to reproduce it.

“That one,” Shannon snaps her fingers triumphantly.

“Yeah, he did. He also did this deepening voice thing he does when Ramón asks him something about the job or finances.”

Shannon tilts her head, “I didn’t know that one.”

“He always does it, when they call him you can know he’s talking to Ramón because of the deep voice.”

Shannon fights a teasing remark on Buck’s deep understanding of Eddie’s quirks. Instead, she asks, “Did they tell you about Tía Marci yet?”

“No,” he lowers his voice, mischief clear in his eyes, “but Helena told me about a baseball chant…”

“Oh my god!” Shannon’s eyes widen, “I had totally forgotten about it! He spent weeks trying to find the best rhyme!”

“Do you remember it?” Buck can’t contain his excitement, he’s been curious about it since Helena mentioned it.

“No,” she shakes her head, “but Sophia and Adriana probably do, they would always sing it when he had chores to do.”

“I need it in my life,” he pulls out his phone, quickly typing a text to the group chat with them.

“Please, forward it to me,” Buck nods as he pockets his phone. Shannon chuckles at the memories, “It was hilarious. He also had a fringe back then, I’ll bring the yearbook next time.”

“Oh, please do,” Buck amusedly pleads.

Right then, Eddie comes into the living room, eyebrows furrowed in suspicion, “What are you two talking about?”

“Nothing, Edmundo,” Buck says, failing at containing his laughter.

Shannon snorts when Eddie’s nose scrunches.

“I don’t like this,” Eddie points between the two of them, who are now openly laughing at him. 

When Shannon and Buck calm down, Eddie turns to her, “They want you to have dinner with us this Friday.”

“Really?” she raises her eyebrows.

“Yep.”

“Well, I- um…” It’s not that she has a bad relationship with Ramón and Helena, it’s mostly polite now, but having dinner is maybe too much… And yet, she kind of wants to see Eddie and Buck acting more couplely than usual.

Eddie senses her hesitance and adds, “Maddie is coming too.”

That changes things. Maddie is great, they are going to have such a great time together teasing these two. “Okay, I’m in then.”

Buck winces at the dangerous glint in Shannon’s eyes, knowing how unstoppable Shannon and Maddie are two wine glasses in. 

Chris calls for Buck then, and he goes, brushing Eddie’s arm with his hand before leaving Eddie and Shannon there.

Once Buck has left and his voice can be heard from Chris’ room, Shannon takes a careful step closer to Eddie and reaches for his arm, Eddie’s gaze fixed on the space Buck just disappeared from.

Shannon can see Eddie’s exhaustion in his eyes, from lying to his parents, to Buck, and to himself. With a warm voice, she tells him, “You could make it real.”

Eddie flinches, turning his head sharply to look at her. Shannon holds his gaze, one that’s filled with warning and some subtle smidgens of fear. His voice is rough, his jaw clenched, when he mutters, “I can’t.”

And Shannon has a friendship and a marriage’s worth of Eddie closing himself to his feelings. She wants to shake some sense into him, to make him see what’s evident for everybody, to let him know he’s allowed to be happy, but if Eddie doesn’t want to listen, he won’t. So, she just sighs and says, “I’m gonna go,” kissing his cheek before going to Chris’ room to say goodbye.

Eddie is left there alone, with a tightness in his chest. He swallows the lump in his throat, getting himself together, before joining Buck and Chris.

Later at night, when he’s lying in bed, Shannon’s words come back to haunt him. He could make it real, she said. But that’s not true.

Buck is acting, Eddie knows it. Because even if when his parents are there everything seems too natural, too meaningful and Buck can fool him, making him believe they are together, when they don’t have to pretend, Buck is back to being his friend, switching back without any problem. So, no, Buck doesn’t feel the same.

And even if somehow, he did, even if there’s a possibility for something more, Eddie can’t do it. He will fuck it up, he always does. He’s terrible at relationships, he will break them. And he can’t risk Buck’s presence in their lives, he means too much, to him and to Chris. So, no, Shannon, he can’t make it real.

Right now, Eddie is terrified because he isn’t acting, he hasn’t acted at any moment. He just surrendered to his feelings and took what his heart asked for. There’s no denying anymore, Buck is everything to him. 

His feelings are so awake now, he’s been repressing them for so long that they just sprung out of the box he kept them in. And there’s no putting them back. He’s been trying not to be affected but he can’t. He doesn’t know how to turn them off. His body just reaches for Buck, longing for his warmth and comfort, he can’t help it. He is fucking this up, for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you think 😊
> 
> And stay safe y'all 💪


	4. Chapter 4

Buck spent the rest of the week dreading Friday night. But when you need time to stay still, to move at the slowest pace possible, it decides to speed up. It swallows you and spits you right at the moment you want to avoid.

That’s how, in the blink of an eye, Buck finds himself in Eddie’s kitchen preparing dinner, Maddie and Shannon keeping him company, glass of wine in hand, while Eddie sets the table in the living room.

Abuela called a few minutes after the house was full and all the introductions were already made. She had prepared a dessert for them, she just needed someone to pick it up. Ramón and Helena offered to go, so they could say goodbye to Isabel, as they were leaving tomorrow morning. Chris wanted to join his grandparents, so it’s just Buck being thoroughly teased by Maddie and Shannon, while Eddie comes up with any excuse to leave the room.

“This is awesome,” Shannon comments, sipping her wine.

Maddie looks at her, grinning while she says, “He didn’t tell me anything until last night. I’ve been laughing since then.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you sooner,” Buck mutters from the counter, his back to them. He’s trying to cancel the sound of their voices, which is difficult as they’ve been asking him non-stop.

Like right now when Maddie asks, “You’ve held hands already?”

Buck completely ignores her question and their snickering, wishing they could stop already. But it’s Shannon’s turn now. “Do you call each other babe?”

He tries to ignore this one too, but there’s this pang of jealousy that makes him flinch. Because Shannon must know about Eddie’s predilection for that stupid pet name that makes Buck feel hot all over when it comes from Eddie’s lips. And, suddenly, he can only think about Eddie calling Shannon ‘babe’ too. And his stomach is not digesting it well.

He only wishes it’s the blushed neck and not his rigid posture what gives him away as Shannon barks in triumph, “Oh my god you did!”

Maddie joins Shannon in laughing at his flustered reaction when Eddie comes in.

Buck turns to him, and with the knife he’s using to cut the cheese he points between Maddie and Shannon, “Your ex-wife and my sister are making fun of me.”

Eddie raises his hands and takes a step backwards, “I don’t want to be here.”

“Stop leaving me, you coward,” Buck grunts, only making the two women laugh harder.

“Not coward, smart,” Eddie answers, tapping his temple.

Buck scoffs, “You wish.”

“Oh, look at them,” Maddie says, “bickering like an old married couple.”

“Maddie!” Buck whines, and now, even a blushed Eddie laughs at him.

He turns back to the food in front of him, ignoring them. There are a few blessed seconds of silence before Shannon speaks.

“Did you prepare a story?”

“A bit,” Eddie answers. Apparently, this time the coward sticks around.

“Who asked the other out?” Maddie wonders.

Buck finds a mischievous glint in her eyes when he turns around to answer, “I did.”

“Mmm, I can see it,” Shannon says. Buck smirks, winking at Eddie, who ducks his head trying to hide his obvious, and now constant, blush.

“How long have you been together?” Maddie asks.

Eddie clears his throat, “Six months.”

“Six months!” Buck squeals, turning around, “How did I not know this?” Did Eddie spend six months pretending they are dating? What the actual fuck?

“You’ve never asked, and my parents already know,” Eddie has the audacity to say, shrugging his shoulders.

Shannon bites her lower lip, trying to keep her laugh at bay. They are both so stupid and this is hilarious, should she record this? Make a video to show them once they get together, so they can see how oblivious they both are. It’s not a bad idea, actually.

Buck is fixing Eddie with a disbelieving look, who is holding his ground pretty well, given the circumstances. That’s when Maddie asks, “First kiss?”

Buck throws his head back, “Ugh, Maddie… They are not gonna ask that.” Maddie turns to Shannon and raising her eyebrows and smiling sheepishly. 

Shannon drinks from her glass and nods towards Eddie, “So what else you have?”

“Just first date,” Eddie rubs the back of his neck, “We didn’t really need to come up with a lot…”

“Of course you didn’t,” Shannon retorts, and when Maddie snorts, they both lose it.

Eddie stares at them with a murdering look. Well, only at Shannon, he’s a bit scared of Maddie, and no one has to know.

Eventually, Maddie calms down, tucking her hair behind her ear, “Sorry, Eddie. We just want to get the story straight, so we don’t mess it up.”

Shannon brushes a tear away with her index, still trying to keep it together, “What she said.”

Eddie lets out a long sigh, resigned “Okay, do you have any other question?”

Shannon bites her lip, controlling her laugh, and asks, “Are you going to hyphenate?”

Maddie barks a laugh and clinks her glass with Shannon’s.

Buck, exasperated but a bit flustered by the idea of being Buckley-Diaz, points between them, “No more wine for you.”

“Oh, this isn’t the wine,” Maddie raises her glass, “this situation is funny enough by itself.”

“Please, can you two behave?” Buck honestly pleads.

“Does he beg you like that?”

“Shannon!” Eddie shrieks.

Maddie grimaces, “Please, I don’t want to hear what my brother does in the bedroom.”

Buck covers his face with his hands, shaking his head, “We are not surviving this.”

Right then, the front door opens and closes, and sure enough, a few seconds later Helena appears in the kitchen carrying a long container.

Helena looks at the four of them amused, “Looks like the party has already started.”

Maddie smiles politely, “We were just warming up, Mrs. Diaz.”

“Helena, please.” She says as she places the container on the table. She looks at Buck, “Is there anything I can do?”

“No, thank you.” He says, thankful for someone interrupting them, “Everything is almost ready. Maddie and Shannon were taking everything to the table,” he throws them a forced smile.

Shannon scrunches her face and reluctantly takes two trays and carries them to the living room, Helena following behind her, with the wine.

Eddie goes to grab a font when Maddie stops him, “I’ve got it. Stay and help your man”, she winks and takes the font.

The blush he had managed to control comes back covering his cheeks. He turns slowly to Buck, who is still preparing something, his back to Eddie. He walks to him and leans on his side on the counter, close to Buck, maybe too close, Buck’s arm brushing his chest when he moves.

“You okay?” Eddie asks softly after a few seconds of silence. Buck hasn’t even looked at him yet.

“Yeah…” his voice constricted, “I just need a sec.”

Eddie hums, “I get it, they can be ruthless,” Buck lets out a small chuckle and Eddie counts it as a win. His voice sounds tentative when he asks, “Do you mind if I stay with you?”

Buck then looks at him, a small smile playing on his lips, “Nah.”

Eddie nods, his chest feeling tight for having Buck so close doing something as ordinary as putting cheese in a tray, it’s so painfully domestic. He clears his throat, “Do you want me to help with something?”

Buck snorts, shaking his head, “I’d rather you stayed there looking pretty,” he says, daring to look at Eddie from the corner of his eyes, playing it cool.

Eddie stills, eyes widening, “Oh,” he manages, every other letter of the alphabet suddenly forgotten. 

“ _Oh,_ he says,” Buck smirks, raising his eyebrows at a flustered Eddie Diaz.

The smug look on Buck’s face makes Eddie come back to his senses and he hits Buck on the arm.

Buck barks a laugh and moves to the sink to wash his hands. He motions Eddie with his head to take the tray. Once he has dried his hands, he steps next to Eddie, who is carrying the cheese.

“Ready?” Buck asks.

Eddie nods, “You feeling better?”

“Much better,” Buck smiles softly, biting his lower lip, “thank you.”

Eddie’s eyes follow the movement, but he quickly looks away focusing his gaze on the door, “Shall we?”

Buck snorts, “We shall,” he places his hand on Eddie’s lower back and guides them to the living room.

They walk together towards what feels like the edge of what they know, what they are. And every step they take resounds with solemn dread and thrill.

They move to the table to eat. The sitting arrangements, chosen by Christopher, are as follows: Maddie and Shannon at one end each. On one side, Buck and Eddie, Buck closer to his sister. On the other side, Chris closer to Shannon, and next to him, Ramón and Helena. 

The conversation is pleasant and fluid. Shannon and Maddie seem to behave in front of Eddie’s parents and Chris.

That doesn’t mean they stop with the teasing, because they don’t. They just adjust their comments making them sound innocent and natural enough.

They ask questions about some of their plans, formulating them in such a manner that they sound like dates. Like when they talk about an event held in the planetarium and Shannon asks, “Didn’t you take Buck to that exhibition?”. Or when they talk about restaurants and Maddie comments, “Chim and I went to the Italian one you took Eddie to a couple of weeks ago.”

And Buck feels his heart beat a little bit faster, because, fuck, they are not even changing the stories that much and it all really sounds like dates. He wishes Eddie doesn’t think too much of it, that he doesn’t reconsider their plans, and stops agreeing so willingly. Buck drinks from his glass, trying to distract his mind with the dry taste of the red wine.

Once they have all finished the delicious dessert Isabel had prepared, they sit back in their chairs enjoying the conversation, Eddie’s arm resting on Buck’s backrest.

Chris gets up from his seat and rounds the table while Ramón tells them about Adriana’s new job. Christopher stops in front of Buck and taps his leg for Buck to lift him and set him on his lap, Chris leans back, resting against his chest.

Ramón is still going on about Adriana’s promotion, ignoring Helena’s silent cues to drop the subject already. Eddie knows about it, Adriana told him when she got it a few weeks back, and since then his father has repeated it every time they talk. He just zooms out, because what’s going on next to him is taking every bit of his attention.

Eddie can’t stop looking at Buck, Chris so comfortable in his arms. Buck has always been so devoted to Chris, so willing to give him the world. He loves Chris and treats him as if he was his son. And Chris sees Buck as a parent figure, going to him for support and safety. Eddie doesn’t feel jealous nor replaced, he feels moved and completed. Buck being a permanent fixture in Chris’ life, in their lives is everything he could ask for. God, if he only could have this.

He’s so lost in thought, watching his boys he doesn’t notice the rest of the room. Not even when Maddie and Shannon share a knowing look, fond and exasperated, because these two idiots could have everything if they just spoke to each other.

A few moments later, Chris starts nodding off, his head slumping forward and jerking back up. Buck’s grip on him gets a bit tighter, and while he combs the kid’s hair, he says, “Buddy, let’s get you to bed.”

Chris nods, too tired to fight for a few more minutes. He mumbles, “I want grandma and grandpa to take me.”

Buck looks at Helena for confirmation, before saying, “Okay,” he drops a kiss to the back of his head, and adds, “say goodnight first.”

Chris moves adult per adult, hugging them goodnight. Before they leave the room, Maddie stands up and says they should get going too, so they both say goodbye to the Diaz parents before they leave with Chris’ to his room.

The four of them start carrying things to the kitchen. When Maddie starts putting things away, Buck pleads her to let it go, he can finish cleaning up, they should get going. So, after kissing Buck goodbye, Eddie walks Shannon and Maddie to the door.

Maddie turns to him with a warm smile, and she kisses his cheek before saying, “It was a lovely evening, Eddie.”

“Thanks, Maddie,” he nods genuinely. Maddie picked Shannon up when they came earlier, so she goes to her car to wait for Shannon there, starting the heater. 

When Shannon doesn’t say anything, Eddie asks, “You okay, Shan?”

She clears her throat and nods. With a perplexed expression, she says “Your mom apologized. For being unfair to me all those years you were away.”

Eddie blinks in surprise, “Woah. I’m glad she did,” Shannon nods, still taken aback by Helena’s words. Eddie takes her hand, “I’m sorry for not being there.”

She smiles, “I know,” squeezing his hand, “I’m sorry for leaving you,” he smiles back and leans to kiss Shannon’s cheek. “Night, Eddie.”

“Goodnight, thanks for everything.”

Eddie closes the door and goes to the living room only to find it empty. His parents are putting Chris to bed and Buck is probably still cleaning up. He grabs the empty glasses and carries them to the kitchen.

There he finds Buck, storing the leftovers away in Eddie’s glass containers. There’s music coming softly out of his speakers. He remembers Maddie selecting a playlist on Buck’s phone when they were putting everything away. Eddie doesn’t recognize the song, it’s jazz or soul, he thinks. He can recognize a saxophone and piano, but that’s it. 

Buck hasn’t noticed Eddie coming in, so Eddie takes the opportunity to stare at him. He looks beautiful, with his sleeves rolled up and his posture relaxed. Buck moves around in Eddie’s kitchen as if it was his own, which basically is. Buck spends so much time in here, cooking dinner for them, baking with Chris, and cleaning after them when Eddie is too tired.

Eddie feels his heart tightening in his chest. This is everything he wants, it feels right. But he can’t have it. And he’s running out of time to take some without ruining everything.

Quietly, Eddie places the glasses on the table and walks towards Buck. He can’t control his hands when they grab Buck by the waist, nor his lips when he whispers to Buck’s ear, “Let’s pretend.”

Buck stills, and Eddie doesn’t miss the sharp intake of air. With his hands still in Buck’s waist, Eddie maneuvers Buck to turn around and away from the counter.

Buck is frozen, his eyes wide and his lips parted. Eddie steps closer, squeezing Buck’s waist before surrounding it with his arms, resting his hands on Buck’s lower back. Buck swallows loudly and carefully lifts his arms, resting them on Eddie’s shoulders, his hands clasped together behind Eddie’s neck.

Eddie shivers at Buck’s thumb caressing his skin and starts moving them. They sway slowly around the small space in the kitchen, the music guiding their steps.

Buck doesn’t know how to breathe anymore with their bodies moving together as if they were one. He lets himself be guided by Eddie’s safe hands. Something in the back of his mind is trying to point out there’s no one around, no need to pretend right now. But he can’t pay attention to anything else than Eddie’s charged gaze. No one has ever looked at him the way Eddie is right now. His hazel eyes are shining with warmth, devotion, and...

Oh.

_Oh._

And love... Buck is not seeing it wrong, that’s love in Eddie’s eyes.

He’s been so scared of being rejected, so worried of his feelings being evident, so careful not to let himself hope, he hasn’t realized Eddie wasn’t pretending. None of them were.

Eddie is just as scared as Buck is. That’s why he only reaches for him when it can pass as acting in front of his parents. Why he had to ask Buck to pretend instead of just asking to dance with him.

A soft chuckle escapes his lips, making Eddie stare at him in confusion. Buck smiles as he moves his hand from Eddie’s neck to his hair, scratching lightly his scalp. Eddie’s breath hitches and Buck feels the anticipation in his chest. He lets his eyes fall to Eddie’s lips and when he looks back up to Eddie’s eyes, Helena’s voice comes from the door, “Boys, can I help with something?”

Eddie steps back abruptly, making Buck’s arms fall from his shoulders. He turns to his mom and clears his throat, “No, mom. It’s almost done.” Helena smiles apologetically, realizing she has broken a moment.

Buck’s heart beats hard inside his chest but manages to smile back at her. That’s when, looking from Eddie to Buck, she says, “Ramón and I would love if you came to El Paso next time Eddie and Chris come to visit.” 

Buck wants to say yes, this is the life he wants, next to Eddie and Christopher. But before he can say anything, Eddie answers for him, “Mom, don’t.”

Buck feels those two words stab him in the chest. Because Eddie can’t see it. He’s trying to protect their friendship so much he puts up walls between them, and he can’t see Buck feels the same.

So right now, Buck is frustrated and a bit mad at Eddie, even if he knows he has no right to, he was in the same mindset two seconds ago. But he can be irrational sometimes. He steps away from Eddie, and without looking at him in the eyes, Buck says, “Baby, I’m gonna finish cleaning the kitchen,” from the corner of his eyes he feels Eddie freeze at Buck’s use of the safe word, “Go with your parents to the living room, I’ll join you.” And turns around, his back to them.

Helena offers to help but Eddie convinces her to go to the couch with him, leaving Buck alone.

Buck goes to Chris’ room to give the asleep boy a goodnight kiss before joining Eddie and his parents in the living room. Ramón and Helena are going to bed, Eddie is taking them tomorrow early in the morning to the airport. So, Buck says his goodbyes, his heart hurting a little with the ‘we hope to you again soon’, and the ‘it was great getting to know you better’, but mostly with the ‘take care of them’.

They go to the guest room, leaving Eddie and Buck alone there in awkward silence. Eddie reaches with his hand for Buck’s arm, “What’s wrong?” he whispers.

Buck shakes his head, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes, “Not here,” he mutters. Eddie nods and guides him to his bedroom.

Once the door is closed behind them, Buck turns to look at Eddie, running his fingers through his hair, "Eddie, what are we doing?" Buck sounds tired and desperate.

"What do you mean?" Eddie’s voice is laced with worry and confusion.

"This," he waves his hand between them, "I don't get it, why don't we do it for real?" Eddie furrows his brow, "We work. We've been pretending for a week and we haven't done anything differently," Eddie’s alarm is evident in his eyes. Buck tries to blink away the tears, and looks at Eddie, his eyes pleading, "Don't tell me you don't feel it. I know you, Eddie. You want this as much as I do. And I get that you are scared, but we can make it work. We have been doing it for a long time now,” he runs his head through his hair, “And fuck, I really want to this to be real."

"Buck..." Eddie starts, his voice low and unsure.

"No, don't,” Buck cuts him, his tone getting more desperate, “Don't make excuses. We deserve better, we deserve this. I know you won't let me go, I trust you,” he takes a shaky breath, a tear escaping his eye, “Trust me, please, Eds. Please, just trust me."

Eddie bites his lower lip, urging the tears to stay at bay. "I don't-"

"I love you," Buck says, his voice soft yet firm.

A gasp leaves Eddie’s lips. He shakes his head, "I’ll fuck it up…"

"You won't,” Buck takes a step closer, smiling softly, “I believe in us, we can make it work."

Eddie is looking at him with such fear in his eyes, Buck can’t stop the uneasy feeling creeping upon him. When Eddie looks down, something cracks inside him. Voice hurt, Buck urges, "Eddie..."

But Eddie doesn’t look back up, he doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak. He’s paralyzed by fear, but Buck is driven by hurt. He moves away from Eddie, broken and embarrassed.

Before he can go too far, Eddie reacts, reaching for his arm, stopping him in place. Eddie begs, "Don't go,” his voice pleading, “Don't go, please."

Buck steps in front of Eddie. Tentatively, he places his hand on Eddie’s cheek. He looks at him in the eyes, hoping Eddie can find in them what he saw in Eddie’s when they were dancing. His lips turn into a soft smile, "I'm not going anywhere.”

Eddie lets out a long, relieved sigh. He covers Buck’s hand with his, “I love you too.”

Buck moves closer, resting his forehead against Eddie’s, and closes his eyes. He breathes out all the fear and rejection that took over his body for a second. With every inhale, the space they vacate is replaced with relief and anticipation.

Buck can’t believe it. He knows it’s real because he can feel Eddie right there, their bodies connected by their foreheads, and their hands still on Eddie’s cheek. 

The silence that had descended over them is only broken when Eddie, in a quivering whisper, begs, “Kiss me.”

Buck sucks in a breath and leans back, admiring Eddie’s features, his parted lips, and his pleading eyes. Tilting Eddie’s face, he leans in, joining their lips in a soft kiss.

It starts as a simple press of lips, but Eddie takes Buck by the hem of his shirt and urges him for more. Buck obliges, pulling Eddie by the hip and taking his lower lip with his teeth. He swallows Eddie’s moan and everything else is reduced to nothing, it’s only them right now.

All the fears, the doubts, the repressed touches, the longing looks, everything they’ve been holding back is released into the kiss. They give and take what they had deprived themselves for so long.

Eventually, only when their lungs hurt, they part for air. Eddie hides his face in the crook of Buck’s neck and rounds Buck’s middle with his arms. Buck grips Eddie’s bicep with one hand, while he runs his fingers through Eddie’s hair with the other one.

After a few seconds of slowly swaying in silence, Eddie says, voice muffled by Buck’s neck, “Stay the night?” He feels Buck’s hesitation, and clarifies, “Just to sleep.”

Buck drops a kiss on his hair, “Okay.”

At some point, they untangle from each other and prepare for bed. During the whole process, they can’t keep their hands to themselves. They reach for each other, touching every exposed inch of skin, stealing kisses whenever they can, making sure this is real.

They don’t really exchange more words, their bodies knowing each other enough they can communicate through touches.

Buck lays on his back and pulls Eddie to his side, and he rests his head on Buck’s shoulders. Eventually, between soft kisses, grounding touches, and whispered promises, they fall asleep.

The first time Buck wakes up is to a warm but empty bed. He blinks his eyes open and finds Eddie getting dressed. A bit of clarity slightly appears in his fogged asleep brain, Eddie is leaving to drop his parents at the airport.

When Eddie notices Buck is awake, he moves to the side of the bed and bends down. He kisses Buck softly, running a hand through his hair, “Sleep,” he whispers. Buck closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.

The second time Buck wakes up is to Eddie slipping back under the covers. Eddie maneuvers them, so they are laying on their sides, holding Bucks from behind. Eddie kisses the skin behind Buck’s ear, and whispers, “Sleep”. Once again, Buck does. 

The third and last time Buck wakes up is to Chris climbing to the bed. Eddie is now laying on his back, and Buck is on his side, resting his head on Eddie’s shoulder, mirroring how they fell asleep last night. 

Chris lays on Eddie’s other side, waking them both up in the process. He waits until his dad opens his eyes to say, “I don’t understand what you told me before Abuela and Abuelo came.”

Eddie blinks a few times until he places what Chris is saying, “Oh, well,” his voice rough with sleep, “they thought Buck and I were together, so we had to pretend we were.”

Chris looks at them confused, “But I thought you were together already.”

Buck snorts, they really were idiots, everyone could see it but them. He moves his arm, reaching for Chris’ curls and runs his fingers through them. He says, “We weren’t,” Chris’ eyes are filled with disappointment. Buck clarifies, “But we’re now, it’s that okay?”

Chris’ hurt is replaced with excitement, he nods vigorously, making Eddie and Buck chuckle in relief.

Then, with a questioning expression, Chris asks, “So you were pretending?”

Buck looks at Eddie, and in his eyes, he recognizes all the emotions he can’t miss anymore. They share a private smile, not needing more to communicate. Buck doesn’t look away from Eddie’s gaze when he answers, 

“Not really.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the beautiful song they dance to in the kitchen, (the title is just on point):  
> Until the Real Thing Comes Along – Coleman Hawkins
> 
> I may write an epilogue about them telling the team, what do you think? 
> 
> Thanks everybody for reading, leaving kudos and/or comments! It’s been a joy writing this 😊 
> 
> Soph, this is all for you, I wouldn’t have written this without your constant support, thank you ❤️


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